SKELETON CREW
Twelve weeks ago the framers showed up and started Phase Three of Mr. and Mrs F’s Affordable Nightmare. That was the week before Christmas for those who are keeping score. Now Valentine’s Day has passed and St. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner and the framers are still framing. So Mr and Mrs F are waving good-bye to their May 1st move-in date. Mr F says we should all be patient but how much longer do I have to wait before they install that hot tub? Mrs F says the pyramids of Giza went up faster than this house. “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” Mr F says.
“True,” Mrs F counters, “but this is a house, not the Colossus of Rhodes!.”
“It’s not a simple design,” Mr F says. “Look at those multiple roof lines; look at all those angles.”
Mr F also points out that framing is a big job. It’s not just erecting the skeleton of the house but nailing/stapling sheets of OSB on the roof and the walls. It’s installing the floor package. It’s framing out the rooms, the kitchen, and the chimney. It’s installing tongue and groove above the deck and the entry. It’s listening to Mr F’s morning jokes. “You’re the boss,” the framers say and that explains why they’re all laughing. It’s installing the windows and exterior doors and the four giant sliding glass doors. It’s framing out the cute little alcove in the entry and Mr F’s private sauna. No, not the Pyramids of Giza but not built in a day either.
“Yes,” Mrs F says, “I get all that, but it would go a lot faster if they had a full crew, not just one or two people measuring and cutting.”
She’s got a point. During certain periods of fervid activity, there were four to six men on the job. Once the trusses and floor package were in place, the crew dwindled to two.
“A skeleton crew,” she says.
But Mr F continues to defend his framers. Mrs F is beginning to wonder if he’s getting kick-backs or has a man-crush on the crew.